Today I had a lingering headache for most of the day. This turned into a migraine that made me feel sick at my stomach. After some rest and some medicine I am feeling somewhat better but drained. I'm not quite sure what the problem was but I know tension in my back and neck from exercising were a big part of it.
This is a bit of a blow for me. I have gotten into pretty decent shape over the past year but nowhere near the musculature of an average male. For me the act of getting stronger is incredibly difficult and perilous. It doesn't help that I can't afford enough protein to grow.
All of this brings me back to thinking about my course in life. I cannot be strong but I can be intelligent. Although that is what comes to me most naturally I have failed to make the most of it. Why?
I think many things get in the way. Fear, for one. Fear that my efforts will be wasted, which becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Romanticism, too, I think. Sometimes I see things that are below my ability in a romantic light that makes them out to be better than what they are, so I stick with them.
So what do I do?
